farters have to be the big spoon...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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