I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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