You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
