She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
