The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize