I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
