So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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