You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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