forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize