on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
