chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if i died would you start the facebook group?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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