Where is the hickey?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
