If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
