No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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