I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
