he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
