it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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