I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
