the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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