Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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