Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
