I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
