he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We named our party play list daddy issues
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
