just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
