If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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