Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
