My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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