check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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