I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
