I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just pee around me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
