White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it's like iHOP with fire
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
