my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
