I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize