Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize