it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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