I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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