I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
