Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
