look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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