Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
