took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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