Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
