I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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