is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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