Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
