I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
