Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
