Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
