We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
