Having a random hookup so left but love u
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize