I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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