Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
