Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
