Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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