No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
