so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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