I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It's Friday. Sex?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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