It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
